I pass my battered laptop to the man behind the counter and smile sweetly. His eyes briefly graze my bruised wrist, and he shakes his head as he takes it from my hands.

“This is the third time in as many months, Miss Johnson. I don’t know how much more this poor computer can take.”

“Better it than me though, right?” I chuckle a bit but can tell he doesn’t appreciate my joke by the silence that follows. “I’m sorry. The screen cracked this time, so if you have to salvage one thing, make it the hard drive. It has all my writing backups, and my work depends on them.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” He is giving me a hard, stern stare, so I keep smiling.

“Come on, why are you grumpy? Everyone loves repeat customers.” It’s probably a bit overfamiliar, but I want to wrap this up and head to the supermarket before it’s too late. Meeting Colin without something delicious cooking in the oven is asking for trouble, especially after yesterday.

“I would rather not have repeat customers like you.” The man’s gaze moves pointedly from the broken laptop to my bruise.

I don’t try to hide from his scrutiny. I know what it looks like, and it is exactly what it looks like. But I’m far from home, far from Colin, and far from any delusions I might have had years ago. Even if people disapprove of my life, there’s nothing they can do. There’s nothing they want to do. Their discomfort with my occasional injuries stopped bothering me a long time ago.

“Have a seat while I figure this out.” The man sits at the desk near the counter and picks up a tool, clearly having given up on waiting for a reply to his comment.

It’s my birthday today. The real day I came out of my mother, together with Jade. Nobody knows the significance of today’s date anymore—my parents are dead, and I got separated from my twin sister when we went into different children’s homes. I’m twenty-six today and have now spent half those years away from my real home and my one remaining family member.

We used to be such a tight-knit family. The type to do everything together, from breakfast to playing and studying to bedtime stories with both Mom and Dad. Until Mom and Dad went away one night and never came back.

The memories I have tried hard to forget flood my brain, and I take a steadying breath that doesn’t steady me at all. My exhale is shaky, and when I look down, I’m picking at the skin around my nails again. I started the habit the first night I spent alone, away from everyone and everything I knew then.

It was the birth of a new Ruby.

“It was a bad connection with the screen.” The man behind the counter pulls me away from my annual rumination, and I return my fake smile to my lips.

“Nothing has been lost?”

“It’s all there, Miss Johnson.”

“Here.” I pass him some money, then add a little extra. I can buy the cheapest products today to make up the difference. He deserves the tip more than Colin’s unrefined palate.

“That’s too much. But…” After a moment, he seems to make up his mind. “I’ll keep the rest stashed away here for you. In case you need it.”

A lump forms in my throat, threatening to obliterate the practiced calm of the new Ruby I’ve been building this past decade. I should wave off how much his simple act of kindness means to me, but the sweet ease of humor doesn’t come. All I can manage is a strangled thank you before I stuff the laptop in my bag and leave the store.

The November chill has settled on the street as I come out, and it bites the tip of my nose with a ferocity that reminds me of the first home I was at. The weather was similar then despite it being March. Spring felt very far away those first few months, and in many ways it still does. I’ve been stuck in a perpetual fall, the impending cold of winter always looming close by.

The drizzle and the gusty wind don’t help my mood, so I wrap my coat tighter and look at my feet as I start walking. Dodging puddles, wet brown leaves, and decaying branches, I make my way toward the supermarket like an inmate on death row.

I hate my life. But I don’t have the means to make it better. I don’t have a single idea.

“Ms. Hadley? Ruby Hadley?”

I slow my pace as a name I haven’t heard in more than a decade reaches my ears. There’s a big black car slowly moving next to me as I cross the parking lot to the supermarket entrance. A few fat raindrops fall on my face, promising a cold rain shower.

“I have a message from your family, Ms. Hadley.” It’s a male voice. Nonthreatening, even pleasantly deep. But I have been wrong about these things before.

“You have the wrong person,” I say without stopping, even though there’s something dangerous already growing inside me. Curiosity. Hope.

“I know we don’t.” The car is still gently nudging forward, and when I finally look up, I’m briefly startled by the man behind the wheel.

From his voice he sounded older, but he’s around my age. With a boyish-looking face and a smile that’s supposed to put me at ease. I don’t trust smiling men anymore.

“Why are you following me?” I look forward. The supermarket entrance is so close.

He seems to sense my fear. “We genuinely just want to give you a letter from your family. If you get in the car, I will explain everything.”

I snort a tiny laugh. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. “You think I’m going to get in a car with a strange guy?”

“Well, I’m not—”

The back window lowers, and an older-sounding female says, “Would you get in a car with a strange old lady?”

I don’t stop walking, but my steps are so sluggish, I’m basically moving in slow motion. This situation is bizarre.

“Probably not.” But curiosity wins out, and I peer inside the car. There’s a fancy-looking woman sitting in the back, all pearls and coiffed white hair and bold red lipstick that reminds me of my grandma. My grandma is also long dead.

“That’s fair, little Ruby. You might not remember me, but I used to be close to your family. I used to visit them in Onyx Grove.”

Now that makes me stop. No one knows about those times. No one from around here anyway. Onyx Grove, my hometown, is in the south. Far from Chicago.

“Who are you?” The curiosity morphs into fear, an emotion much more familiar to this new Ruby from around here. The Ruby from Onyx Grove is nothing more than a memory, an artifact from a time that I can never return to. An alternate reality where everything had its rightful, comfortable place.

“I’m an old friend of Pearl’s. She and I built our respective empires at the same time. It’s a shame what happened.” The woman is still vague in her answers, but hearing my grandmother’s name from her lips adds a drop of trust in the ocean of my suspicion.

“You said you have a letter for me, right? Give it to me here. I’m not getting in the car.”

“As you wish, child.” She opens her undoubtedly expensive bag and takes out a small red envelope. “I’ve been waiting thirteen years to give this to you.”

My heart skips a beat when I take it from her and see the Hadley family crest on the unbroken wax seal.

My family is gone—I know this much. The Hadley empire in Onyx Grove should have disappeared when Jade and I were forcefully removed from our childhood home.

Yet here I stand with a piece of that time.

I run my thumb across the paper as the drizzle turns into heavy raindrops, soaking my precious letter.

Ignoring the people in the car, I break into a run and hide under the supermarket’s canopy. Should I open it here?

I look around, taking in the groups of people coming in and out of the store. The rain is now pouring down, encouraging me to get inside. The sounds of chatter and carts being wheeled around suddenly become too loud, and the music from inside grates on my nerves. I want to be alone.

But even if I go home, I won’t have the space I long for.

There is no perfect place for the old Ruby to come out.

So I sigh, move a little more to the side so people aren’t bumping into me as much, and open the envelope.